Showing kindness and being respectful to one another

May 5, 2025

Aloha,

On my 49th birthday, which was a week ago, I got the opportunity to take stock of all the shifts in my life’s trajectory thus far. In a world that is continuously changing and evolving, many of these changes were unanticipated and went beyond my expectations, but others had been purposefully planned.

As I reflect on the last nearly fifty years, it appears that the world’s history has been one of conflict, violence, war, and corruption. However, there has also been always a part of humanity devoted to loftier goals, too. Will things on this planet improve or worsen? It will, in my opinion, improve for those of us who want it to, while it will worsen for those who anticipate it to grow worse.

For me, participating in running events has always meant meeting and running alongside people who are committed to higher values, themselves, and others. I finished my second half marathon of the year on Maui a week ago. There were roughly 2200 runners in the Maui Marathon. Two weeks prior to this race, I had completed the Hapalua, a half marathon in Honolulu that drew over 8,000 runners.

Millions of runners throughout the world have taken up running as a fitness activity, and more and more young people are adopting the trend in recent years. The benefits of running for many people go beyond just improving their physical health.

Running is excellent for mental health as well. It lowers stress, anxiety, and depression by releasing endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that naturally improve mood. Long events, like a full or half marathon, can sometimes be difficult to train for, but the payoff is a great sense of satisfaction, joy, and thankfulness as I cross the finish line.

Since I was six years old (my father took me on some of his runs in 1982 when I was that age), I have continued to run for a long time. However, following a serious car accident I had six months ago in the Swiss mountains, there were many weeks during which it seemed unlikely that I would ever run again.

The recuperation took a long time, and I genuinely missed the chance to go running. It turned into a wonderful gift, making it possible for me to run again around mid-February, albeit briefly. When I returned to South Korea in early March, I found out that a 10K race was planned in Seoul by mid-March, leaving me with under two weeks to get ready for it.

Initially, it was challenging to attempt running for a full hour again, but I was pleasantly surprised that everything went smoothly that morning, and I finished the race in less than 51 minutes. Although my preparation for the Hapalua on Oahu was limited, I signed up and participated without any particular goal other than to complete the race and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

Then, 3 weeks ago, I first ran the Hapalua in Honolulu. Although I was exhausted and my legs felt heavy the day before, I had managed to fit in a few longer runs in the interim, and the morning was lovely. I was also familiar with the course from my participation in 2023 and 2024.

To my big surprise (again, just like one month earlier in Seoul), the longer I ran, the better it felt. I finished in 1 hour and 53 minutes, which was five minutes quicker than in 2023 and six minutes faster than the previous year. In my age group, I scored 52 out of 291 and 848 out of 7816 overall.

Encouraged by the experience, I decided to join the Maui half marathon at the last minute. Once more, I questioned whether there would be adequate time for recuperation in between the two events. But compared to Honolulu, I felt better the day before the race.

Then, a week ago, Maui welcomed us with yet another stunning early dawn, and the race proceeded flawlessly once more. I finished 78 out of 660 overall and 6 out of 26 in my age group, and with 1 hour and 51 minutes, my time was even 2 minutes faster than at the Hapalua in Honolulu.

However, what is much more important than my running times and results is the kindness, respect, and support that I experienced between runners, volunteers, and spectators during these three races in Hawaii and South Korea this year. I hope that this year will see even more kindness and support from everyone I meet and interact with.

Kindness, despite its seeming simplicity, has the capacity to transform many lives, strengthen bonds with others, and open up many opportunities. It is ultimately more than just being polite or kind; it is a fruit of the spirit, an expression of God’s love working through us.

In a culture that often places more value on money, celebrity, or self-interest than on kindness and helping one another, we are exhorted to live and act differently. I really believe that spirit-led kindness stands out in a society that far too often accepts rudeness, greed, and strife.

This is especially important when interacting with individuals or situations that may not align with our ideals. A simple smile, friendly gesture, or praise to someone you meet throughout the day can have a life-changing impact. Being kind eases tension, builds relationships, and opens hearts. Being kind is also part of sharing the spirit of Aloha.

However, kindness also entails being truthful and courteous to others as well as to ourselves. Telling the truth is not always easy because it requires vulnerability, courage, and a commitment to integrity, even when it is unpleasant or inconvenient. Being kind and lying are contradictory, whether we are lying to protect ourselves or to control others.

Returning to the topic of whether this world will improve or deteriorate, we all interpret the world in different ways, depending on our beliefs and life experiences. Every belief system shapes what we take to be true by reinforcing itself. Most of the time, we are always looking for proof to support our beliefs.

Being truthful with one another fosters stronger relationships and, in the end, eliminates the need for competition, deception, or concealment. Conversely, dishonesty creates obstacles. In the end, dishonesty undermines trust and harms relationships, whether it takes the form of lying or exaggerating.

Living authentically and being honest with ourselves come first. Being honest with ourselves and others often seems difficult since it calls for vulnerability, bravery, and humility. However, choosing honesty is also crucial if we want to feel the freedom that comes from living openly and to develop trust in our relationships.

Honesty and respect are both manifestations of compassion. Respect comes from an open heart that sees each person’s inherent value, regardless of their behavior or beliefs. Honoring others is an act of love that promotes harmony, trust, and development in our communities.

Respect for one another encourages harmony in our interactions. We can show our humility and commitment to the people in our lives by honoring rather than by ignoring them. Respecting someone does not imply that we always agree with them, but it involves choosing to treat them with love and decency.

Conversely, disrespect and ignorance lead to miscommunication, hurt, and division. When we recognize one another’s diversity and make it a daily mission to beat one another in love, we value various points of view, experiences, and gifts while remaining grounded in love and respect for one another

I want to express my gratitude once more to everyone who sent me well wishes and birthday messages last week. Having recovered successfully from the accident, being well again, and having been able to celebrate another birthday in Hawaii – the place that has given me so much and where I feel most at home – are other things for which I am grateful.

I genuinely hope that this year and beyond will see, feel, and share even more love, truth, and respect in the world since everyone achieves more when they work together rather than against one another!

Warmly,
Yves

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To live a life on purpose, acknowledge your thoughts andnemotions and redirect them toward your dreams.
~Yves Nager